Once there was an old lady
Who looked like my grandma maybe
Every night
She’d take a bite
Of children’s toes
And a nose
If it’s past your bedtime
And you hear a chime
It’s old Mrs. Creet
Looking for something to eat
Don’t let her catch you
Awake or she’ll chew
Your toes and maybe your nose
So hurry and doze
Off to deep sleep
And as you count sheep
Out will creep
Old Mrs. Creet
This little piggy went to market
Damn, this girl has spirit
This little piggy stayed home
Found her as I did my roam
This little piggy had roast beef
Told her the pain would be brief
This little piggy had none
Ravishing her was fun
This little piggy went
Still smell her blood’s scent
Wee, wee, wee
On to my next killing spree
All the way home
Smiling at her mouth’s foam
It’s been quiet for the past few days because I finally started writing my children’s book and started an Indiegogo (crowdfunding) campaign to assist with the publishing of it and another book in the works (in addition to hunting for illustrators for the two books). So feel free to check it out!
In other news, D and I have our next doctor’s appointment on Tuesday and, hopefully, we’ll be able to find out the sex of the baby via an ultrasound. As long as he or she is healthy, I don’t care about the sex. It would just make planning (code: shopping) for him or her easier. In the meantime, I’ve been adding gender-neutral things (i.e, stroller, car seat, play pen, and other gear) to the registry. My sister’s throwing a baby shower for me in the next couple months so I wanted to make sure that the registry had at least a few basic/must-have items.
Mom (in-law) is coming in for a visit tomorrow and that means lots of cleaning today as well as making sure the fridge is fully stocked. The place still looks like a warehouse (even though it’s been a full month since we’ve moved in) so my first order of business today is to finish clearing up all the boxes. So much to do, so little time…
I made my debut
When very few knew
My taste for lust
And a hooker’s bust
It was 1888
Money was easy bait
East End of London
England’s dungeon
First was Mary Ann Nichols
The thought of her still tickles
Plucked out her teeth
Right under the night’s wreath
Tore out her tongue
To the pleasure I clung
Second was Annie Chapman
To her, I was a captain
Cut her throat
Like a slaughtered goat
Ripped out her intestines
To do this I was destined
Third was Elizabeth Stride
She was a special prize
This one I did not feed
Plump one she was indeed
I did her body what I did the others
But hers reminded me of my mother’s
Fourth was Catherine Eddowes
To her I gave several blows
Temper, temper, Miss
Cutting her was a bliss
Then was Mary Jane Kelly
How I opened her belly
As fair and sweet as she was
Slashing her gave me a buzz
You see, my day job
Saw women as snobs
But at night
Some let me bite
And to them I gave my thanks
Down by the river banks
As a physician
I was on a mission
To show them
They’re to be condemned
Never have I been so chipper
To be called Jack the Ripper
It’s half past nine
Time for you to shine
I sit here waiting
For you anticipating
There you are
So close yet so far
Every night
My eyes burn bright
Always yearning for
A knock on your door
The touch of your skin
For me a wide grin
A pull of your hair
Not just an affair
Taking your body
Like there’s nobody
Feeling your breath
A thousand sweet deaths
Perhaps one day
I’ll come out and play
And take a few bites
Under your lights
Charmed to make your acquaintance
My name is Bob
You seem low maintenance
But don’t get me wrong
Au naturale is the best
Been here all along
Watching and waiting
Patiently observing
Pining and baiting
“Oops–could this be yours?”
“No,” you say, “but thank you, anyway”
“But here, let me get the door”
“Has anyone ever told you
How beautiful you are?
Not sure if you knew”
“No,” you say, “but thank you, anyway”
“Excuse me, but I have to ask
Could you walk with me halfway?”
“I am new and I am lost
Would you be so kind
As to guide me through this frost?”
“Sure,” you say, “I’ll let you lead the way”
“Thank you, my dear”
Predator and prey
“I think I see my car–
Will you come with me to see?”
“Sure,” you say, “as long as it’s not far”
“To thank you for being so kind,
I have something for you in mind
Although not very refined”
“No,” you say, “but thank you, anyway
As I must be leaving now”
“But here, let me grab it, anyway”
Pop goes the trunk
And I grab my love
Hit her head and hear a “clunk”
As I place her in the trunk
And tie her arms and legs
She came to and seemed in a funk
“Please let me go,” she cried in dismay,
“Whatever you want–just let me go”
“No,” I say, “but thank you, anyway”
Come into my office
And have a seat
Let me have a look at you
What pretty feet
Now put this sheet on you
I won’t peak
Don’t mind my hungry stares
I’m not a freak
Just a lonely man
Whose profession lets me sneak
A touch here and a grab there
Under the guise of a health geek
“Have you been naughty or nice?”
I wake up to see a smile full of sharp, yellow teeth. He’s standing at the foot of the bed with an axe covered in blood. With a gasp, I bolt toward the door. His long nails claw my hair as I run, almost tripping on the hardwood floor. My heart pounds as I sprint toward the stairway. If only I can make it downstairs.
“Have you been naughty or nice?” His voice is close and I can smell his rotting breath behind me. SLAM. The axe crashes into the wall within an inch from my right ear. The stairs seem a mile long. Instead of taking one step at a time, I can take two or maybe even three. I have to. But would I make it? I take a deep breath and jump over as many as I can. I need to fly.
The monster’s talons grab a hold of my left shoulder. I fall back on a step and tumble down the remaining flight of stairs. The back of my head hits the bottom of the staircase. Lying there with my head throbbing, I see large eyes and a wide bear trap smile.
“Have you been naughty or nice?” he purrs as he raises the axe.
